A funny Christmas Letter

It’s that time of year again when holiday cards come with those unpersonalized letters that explain everything a family has done for a year, interspersed with several photos and printed on a single page. If you’re thinking about a humorous alternative check out one of my favorites that was written for 2000. Barbara and I are working on a shorter version for SMS that I’ll share next week.

From a Nick of Time.

Dear Friend,
It is that time of year again to share with you our adventures in this journey we call life. 2000 has been another year of magic and wonder…

Lori almost 3, is quite a talker. She continues to amaze the professors at the University with her intuition in foreign languages. It was fun for her to serve as Official Translator for Warren Christopher at the Bosnian-Serbian Peace Talks. She intends to spend this Holiday transcribing War and Peace into Arabic and Cantonese.

Chris, now 5, is growing in leaps and bounds. When he got his first set of building blocks he seemed quite interested in large buildings. This year he designed his first skyscraper and ground was broken in Hong Kong for the new “Little Man” Towers. It is great to have a budding architect at home as he made a new addition to the house and a wonderful gazebo for our garden. Martha Stewart will be filming her next show here in April.

Betsy had a very busy year. In between her work as President of the American Cancer Society and Senior Partner of Goldman Sachs, she introduced a line of children’s novels and hand made active-wear. She remains occupied with the children and has introduced them to Yoga and power walking this year. We are particularly proud of Mom as a starting forward representing the United States in the World Cup.

Dave was immersed with his Graduate School studies, and managed to co-author a paper on Multidimensional Customer Attribute Analysis by Conjoint Survey and accept a Nobel Prize for his discoveries in Quantum Physics. Along the way Dave took three startups through their IPO. We are proud of his work serving on the Board of Directors of IBM, Coca-Cola, and Walt Disney. Dad was also active with the kids teaching Lauren Ballet and helping to lower Chris’ handicap to 5. We were able to squeeze a little traveling in this year. We started in Aspen, went to Belarus, the Congo, Denmark, Ethiopia, the Falklands, Greenland, Holland, Italy, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, New Zealand, Venezuela, and Zaire. Our trip sailing our new boat around the world was a great experience for the kids, we learned to communicate with Dolphins and discovered a new region of deep water volcanoes.

And Sergeant, our German shepherd, learned to speak. Latin. Other than that, it was a very quiet year. So from our household to yours, all the Blessings of the Season and may your New Year be prosperous. We found out yesterday that we won the $150 Million Powerball Lottery.

The Wannabes,
Betsy, Dave, Chris & Lori


  1. Pingback: Big Family Christmas » Blog Archive » Richard French’s Weblog » Blog Archive » A funny Christmas Letter

  2. Ha ha ha!!! I love that letter. It’s perfect. Those letters drive me balmy! All I see when I read these is:
    blaaaaa bla bla blllaaaa gloat gloat bs bs blaaaa blaaaaa
    blaaaaa bla bla blllaaaa gloat gloat bs bs blaaaa blaaaaa
    blaaaaa bla bla blllaaaa gloat gloat bs bs blaaaa blaaaaa
    blaaaaa bla bla blllaaaa gloat gloat bs bs blaaaa blaaaaa
    blaaaaa bla bla blllaaaa gloat gloat bs bs blaaaa blaaaaa

    Can’t wait for your SMS one!

    Happy Holidays Richard!

    Warm regards,

  3. Perfect – the best antidote to the “blah blah blah” Christmas letter ever. Guaranteed to put a smile on their unsuspecting faces – how far do you suppose they’d have to read to realise that it’s a spoof?

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